Thursday, August 18, 2011

{ sleeping sickness }

Why is it that late at night our feelings swim to the surface? All of my concerns and worries seem to fill my mind on those sleepless nights. I lay awake in my bed, staring at my clock as the seconds, minutes and hours go by. Sometimes I lay there with a million things racing through my head like frantic bees flying around- you can't seem to get rid of them no matter how hard you try. Sometimes my mind is a vast, black space filled with nothing but nothingness. I can't quite decide which is worse. There is something about the silence on those sleepless nights that is so haunting and it gives me chills. But something about this silence is beautiful. When you hear nothing but your own breathing and the rustle of sheets. Your heart beating at a slow, constant pace. Often times my thoughts seem to penetrate the silence. But sometimes my silent mind is even louder. I feel like people have their most nonsensical, most profound thoughts late at night. Maybe that is why some of the most extraordinary songs, poems, and stories have been the result of sleeping sickness. Its not a physical sickness, but one of emotion. Countless times I have laid awake, trying to escape my thoughts. Trying to fall into a state of little consciousness just to get away from them. My body does not allow me to physically move because i am so weak and tired but my mind refuses to rest.


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